Visual: 5/5
Audio: 5/5
Quality of Scenes: 5/5
Pluses and Minuses: Most people don't just go trooping into the European forest because a mysterious French count summons them via cryptic invitation. But in the world of porno anything goes, and in Private Entertainment's Pirate Fetish Machine: Kinkyworld five members of the fucking deprived and the sexually repressed sect arrive uncertain for a weekend at the count's obscure mansion. The group is greeted immediately by the French guys really weird, but extremely buff, butler in tight chaps -- although not assless. Butler dude announces to the guests that their seemingly very well off host won't be joining them for the weekend's festivities -- apparently he took a cancer induced dirt nap a few weeks before, but he did leave them a message.
The chap wearing butler, Max, commences to play a pre-recorded videotaped message from the heavily accented dearly departed. Kinkyworld leaves a lot up in the air about just who this count guy is and why the hell he cares so much about the fucking escapades, or lack thereof, of perfect strangers. One thing's for sure-this is one cancer patient that likes to enjoy himself, as demonstrated Czech brunette Jennifer Stone whose got her juicy lips wrapped around the Count's wrinkly cock. "They are all hyprocrites," he cries. And as if this watching this dying naked guy with his dick lodged in the throat of a busty babe with a bubbly ass wasn't bizarre enough, he seems to know everybody's kinky, nasty, and naughty secrets.
For starters, there's the beautifully titted Cora Everson and her seemingly straight-laced husband...who enjoys suckling on the Mrs. DDD boobs while caressing his dick...through his diaper. And nothing gets the hubby's blood boiling like a good hard spanking. Then there's the huskily handsome rock star and his hooker/escort/dominatrix, the slight and sexy Liliane Tiger, who loves to be tied up and beaten. And then there's the luscious Lucy Love, whose true love is the taste of cunt mixed with a couple of plastic pussy pumpers stuffed in her pussy and asshole.
Each is presented with a challenge, whoever lives out their fantasies to the fullest, endulging in all of the naughtinesss that their hearts desire, will receive the Count's entire estate along with the hefty dollar figure attached to it. And even if they don't walk away tumbling over under the weight of money bags, each guest will leave with a number of orgasmic screams and a journey into a new Kinkyworld.Scene One: After the interesting taped message from the Count, Cora and the hubs decide to go out for a night on the town, which will turn into more like a night on the mansion's winding staircase. The long haired brunette is right in the middle of pinning up her dark flowing tresses and adjusting her pink and black polka dot short and midriff outfit, which is attractively snug thanks to the weight of Cora's massive tits, when she hears the sounds of a baby crying from downstairs. Cora takes her role as "Mommy" seriously and rushes downstairs to find her husband Frank sucking on an empty bottle and twiddling with the yellow barrette holding strands of his slick hair. Bubble titted Cora gives Frank a spanking, commanding him to "Shut, Up." But she loosens up once another six foot five inch baby (the butler dressed in gear from Baby Gap) pops out and becomes extremely interested in chowing down on kinky Cora's plump nipples.
Cora ends up having her snatch eaten out by one baby while swallowing the dick of the other. She gives great sloppy blowjobs, by the way, Cora's head game alone makes Kinkyworld an excellent instructional guide for the cock sucking impaired. But it's ultimately the gorgeous double penetration scene featuring grown men in barrettes taking Cora's cunt and ass that takes center stage in this deliciously dirty fuck flick.
Scene Two: Tera Bond is one hot piece of ass in this venture by Private Entertainment. The raven-haired European makes appearances in many a Private adventure and in this one she teams up with Jennifer Stone (the chick that likes to suck off old geezers) to "" a rock star. Tera keeps him down by covering his face with latex stockings, Jennifer uses the opportunity to use her mouth to go surfing for some thick wads of white jizz. It takes a while, but the dominators finally get "Rocky" all wrapped up, from head to toe, with a yellow tinted color of saran wrap. Not only does it keep his pecker pointed north, but his utter inability to move makes it easy for the girls to take turns hopping atop him reverse cowgirl to pop his manhood in their shitters.
Scene Three: Little Liliane Tiger likes to take advantage of muscular guys, and the fact that she gets paid royally for it is all a part of the fun. Max winds up being Liliane's horsey. Hey, he even makes a really neat hee-hee-hee sound with his cunt lapping little mouth. Liliane drops to her knees and sucks some major horse cock, and you know how huge they can be. She even rubs her cunt while Max rocks in and out of her ass. Lilianne's small tits and perky nips are on display as she becomes a human cum dumpster taking a load right down the windpipe from a guy that loves to be ridden like a stallion.
Scene Four: You can't have a film about fetish without a really steamy girl girl scene, and since guest Lucy Love is a lesbo on the low, you already know that you're in for a clit licking treat-Kinkyworld style. Lucy's hair is in long, loose spiral curls, the long legged beauty had been itching for a woman's tongue in her ass and she got her treat wearing a two piece that barely covered her full chest and thick hips. She awakes from a deep sleep to be greeted, or accosted depending on how you look at it, by Police Officers Tera Bond and her blond deputy Gina B. They're breaking the law in their fishnets, little black miniskirt police uniforms and high hooker boots. If only those chicks on the NYPD dressed like this.
The cops sit Lucy down for a full cavity search, which consist of their fingers and tongues darting in and out of all three of her holes. The team force a thick blue dildo down Lucy's throat; they also play with her brown nipples while she gets a taste of Tera's stinkers. Lucy darts her lapping tongue in and out of Tera's ass while Gina fucks her own tight butthole with a pink strap-on. Gina B and Tera B watch their pouty titties bounce as they fuck back to back to an earth-shattering O with a huge blue double headed slong between them. Lucy Love watches in freaky torment as she frantically fucks herself in the butt. The scene closes with the girls sharing the fruit of Lucy ass.
CJ Says: Highly recommended. Private really out did themselves with this one. Kinkyworld is the creme de la creme of porn -- and you don't have to be into diapers, or saran wrap to find yourself covered in sticky goo within the first five minutes of watching it. And if muscle bound guys getting taken by thick titted chicks is just a bit too much for you, you might just enjoy having the diaper wearing "weirdos" to laugh at on a lazy Saturday night.
C.J. Watson is a twenty-something college co-ed from the Southeastern United States. A self-proclaimed spoiled Ebony princess, C.J has been writing professionally for thirteen years and has aspirations of someday becoming a New York City columnist. She loves fashion, dogs and strawberries and hates thin dicks.
