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Awwwwwwwww .... How sweet!!!! ;-)
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Posted:Aug 11, 2013 9:12 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2013 1:53 am
9117 Views
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There was a boy, whose parents were very strict in his upbringing. They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives. However, one day, he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his Mother and asked her what they were doing.
His Mother told him. "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will die that very minute!"
On his 21st Birthday, he went out with some friends, who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around town. She knew that he had never been kissed before.
When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted. She asked him, "What are you afraid of? It won't hurt."
He replied, "My Mother said if I kiss a girl, I'll die that very minute!" She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot kiss, square across the lips.
He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die."
She asked, "Why are you going to die?"
He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!"
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Why ?????
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Posted:Aug 11, 2013 2:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2013 1:47 am
9006 Views
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... did they find out what REALLY goes into a Big Mac????
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2
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I guess it's the lawyers turn!!!!
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Posted:Aug 10, 2013 11:12 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2013 1:36 am
9282 Views
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A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: “In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away…” Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: “In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away…”. Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it…
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I found this on another site ... I thought some of you might appreciate it ....
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Posted:Aug 9, 2013 8:32 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2013 1:34 am
9032 Views
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"When I was a , my Mom
liked to cook food & then I
remember she used to cook for
us.
One night in particular when she
had made dinner after a long
hard day's work, Mom placed a
plate of bread, jam and
extremely burnt toast in front of
my dad.
I was waiting to see if anyone
noticed the burnt toast. But Dad
just ate his toast and asked me
how was my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told
him that night, but I do
remember I heard Mom
apologizing to dad for the burnt
toast.
And I'll never forget what he
said: "Honey, I love burnt
toast."
Later that night, I went to kiss
Daddy good night and I asked
him if he really liked his toast
burnt.
He wrapped me in his arms and
said, "Your momma put in a
long hard day at work today and
she was really tired. And
besides... A burnt toast never
hurts anyone but harsh words
do!"
"You know beta, life is full of
imperfect things... and imperfect
people.... I'm not the best and
am hardly good at anything. I
forget birthdays and
anniversaries just like everyone
else. What I've learnt over the
years is :
to accept each others faults and
choose to celebrate relationship.
"
Life is too short to wake up with
regrets... Love the people who
treat you right and have
compassion for the ones who
don't...
ENJOY LIFE NOW..
"It has an Expiry date.."
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Well ... you know me ... if I think it's funny ... it's going up!!! ;)
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Posted:Aug 5, 2013 11:06 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2013 10:41 pm
8857 Views
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A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. After a while they realized both of their wedding anniversary's are the next day.
Poor man, "What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversary?"
Rich man, "I got her a pink Ferrari and a diamond ring."
Poor man, "What made you choose those gifts?"
Rich man, "She loves fast cars and I wasn't sure about the ring so if she doesn't like it, she can take it back in her new car... "
The poor man "nods in agreement."
Rich man, "What did you get your wife?"
Poor man, "I got my wife a pair of cheap slippers and a dildo."
Rich man, "Why did you choose those gifts?"
Poor man, " Well, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."
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2
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It's all in the numbers!!!! ;)
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Posted:Aug 5, 2013 1:26 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2013 9:36 pm
8741 Views
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Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York. Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to new York. At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, “Gee, I hope we don’t lose that last engine, or we’ll be up here forever!”
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4
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Sorry people ... another blonde joke ....
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Posted:Jul 31, 2013 10:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2013 11:38 pm
8868 Views
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One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio
announcer says, “We are expecting 6-8 inch
es of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park…” then the electric power goes out.
Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”
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To link to this blog (castomper) use [blog castomper] in your messages.
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